I'm in luv (L-U-V)

I love my eye scratching, arm waving, finger munching, plastic licking, grass eating, milk spitting, squash swallowing, cozy snuggling, toe grabbing sweet pea.  Every day my heart becomes fuller - I didn't know that I was capable of such an emotion.  I know people do crazy things for love - I know understand.  I am one of those people.

I just sit and daydream about what her life is going to be like, and how determined I am to give her all the opportunities she deserves.  I think about what she is going to look like, and how all the things we her doing now are shaping her into who she will be.

I admit, the rest of my life has almost been put on hold.  She is like an addiction.  I'm almost indifferent to all the other things that are going on in my life.  I see now that I'm no longer working on making myself a better person.  Right now I'm "mom" but I'm having a hard time being "wife" and "friend".  Any advice for a new mommy on how to be a better partner? 

I didn't understand what people meant when they told me that nothing could prepare me for life with a baby.  This little life has taken over our own lives.  Sometimes I feel like we've lost one another.  I'm not trying to be dramatic, I'm just saying that I don't think we baby-proofed our marriage.

"to find someone to love, you've got to be someone you love"

Oh, and one more thing.  You remember those goals I posted about awhile back? One of them was to loose 10 pounds by Thanksgiving and another 10 by Easter.  Well, I've gotten a solid 8 off so far.  Making progress :)

Comments

[Megan]

oh my goodness! i dont check your blog in forever and a day and i come back and you have a BABY! holy cow!

i am so happy for you!!

[Amanda]

We had the same problem - our son took over our lives. When we were at the same place you are now, my folks took our son overnight and we went to stay at a B&B right in our own town and played "tourist". That way, were close enough to get home in 10 minutes in case the baby needed us, but we could go out to dinner, talk, and be a couple for a night. It really recharged us.

Now that he is almost 4, we feel comfortable enough that we went on a cruse for a few days, and he stayed with my folks. We had some nice couples time, and my son was able to have a good time with his grandparents.

Hope these suggestions help.

[AJ]

Yeah, babies are something else aren't they? Right now we are going through that period of "I really need a break". Scout is up and everywhere, and she hasn't been taking naps much because she's teething. We've got a full fledged fussbutton on our hands! Even when it's a little frustrating it's still a wonderful experience!

By the way, I read a book called, "Babyproofing your Marriage" by Stacy, (could be Stacie), Cockrell. Read it! It has a lot of information and it's written with a bit of humor.

Sorry to hear about the job falling through, but congrats on going back to school! :)

[Megan]

No one baby proof's their marriage - you just can't be prepared for that kind of change. Try and reconnect but if you find yourselves slipping further and further away from each other find a good marriage counselor. My husband and I started seeing someone 1-2/month shortly after Bear's first birthday. It's great to have some outside perspective and it's helped us communicate much better, which, I think, is key. Congrats on the weight loss.

[Anny]

Your little munchkin' is just sweet as pie ;0) How could you not love her that completely? I feel the same way about both my boys (and I worried after the first that I could never love the second as much and as completely...but I do!) That's the wonderful thing about loving each other...it isn't a zero sum game. just when you think your heart couldn't be any fuller, your little one does something to melt your heart once more (wait until she talks and hugs and whispers sweet little nothings in your ear). For us the secret to being married...with children (sorry, couldn't resist that) is to give ourselves a break. Our relationship is very different than it was before kids...and a lot less romantic and intimate (both boys are usually back in bed with us by 2 am...they just sneak right in there ;0) But we both cherish this time as the beginning of something far greater and more rewarding than all our courtship date nights rolled into one. For us right now, the focus is appreciating the boys while they are little and taking in every moment, and watching each other grow into our parental roles and adding another layer to the love we share for each other. We connect over the wonder of the little lives we have been blessed to guide through this world. And it is wonderful. We'll have just us time again sooner or later and by then I'm sure we'll look back and miss these very moments that make up our everyday lives with a toddler and an infant and all the joy they brought into our lives. Besides, we're in this marriage thing for a lifetime, but in less than 20 years, the boys will not want to hang out anymore so we'll have plenty of time to make up for it then ;0)

[amanda cathleen]

You description of your wee little one is so sweet! It is amazing how a Mother (and Father!) can love something so small. But love for your child runs so deep its nerve chattering. I know exactly how you feel :-)
Congrats on losing weight!! You go girl!
On partnership, make dates. Hire a sitter, or talk your Mum into it. Go out (or stay in) and spend time with each other. With Mike on the road 3 weeks out of the month we have a hard time reconnecting at times. But when he is at home we have our date night. While he is at work we talk several times a day either on the phone or through IM's.
Life may not be the same as before, but its better. Ya know? Fuller.

[Wendy]

I love the description of your sweet pea. Your love for her is SO evident. And well done on losing weight. Congratulations!

With regards to partnership, we have a baby sitter come once a week for four hours. And we use that time as a "date". We also do foot massages at night a couple times a week. And we "debrief" about the day's concerns each night before we go to bed.

But I know what you mean....it's just not the same as before.

Take care.

[Erin]

I dream of the kind of emotional capacity you're talking about and I'm sure I'll have it someday when I have kids. As for being a better partner, I'm not even in a relationship at the moment so I am in no position to give you advice on that. Maybe make a date for just the two of you.